I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
