we have officially lost it.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize