wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
