have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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