she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize