doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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