I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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