so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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