So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
