so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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