I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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