i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
