can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize