weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
