Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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