Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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