its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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