i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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