He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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