There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just forgot I was standing up.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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