Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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