i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
