We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I will pee on everything he values.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
