you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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