Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
