You really coming over, don't trick.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
