Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
