we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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