Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
