I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
