It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
