i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
