Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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