I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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