After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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