I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
