I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
