I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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