my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize