Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
barbara walters just said penis...
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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