Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
