i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
