I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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