I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
