Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
