I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
