we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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