I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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