i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
