the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
