oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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