She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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