I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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