What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
