go do what you do best...puke behind churches
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
