he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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