Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize