I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Found the puke drawer
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
