That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
