I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
