My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
