I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
