i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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