There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I will be naked everywhere
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
