He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize