Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
