you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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