I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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