you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
