Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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