you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Buhtt sex?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
