i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
